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[13 Nov 2007|05:36am] |
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agents of oblivion - phantom green |
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given it's a tuesday, there's no reason i should be up this late/early without having any sleep, but that is none the less the case at hand, as for one reason or another, i cannot bring myself to, though i do not think there is really a particular reason why. 21 is now had, for what it's worth, which i cannot really imagine is much beyond that which 20 and 19 and so on were, with a worthwhile difference, though i do not think i need to mention it. if you pay any mind to words/actions elsewhere, be it the world at large or spheres similar to this one, you should have at least a vague concept of what they are. years come and go, the haze largely remains the same.
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[18 Oct 2007|12:30pm] |
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planes, trains, and wind |
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pre-his 321 and all that occupies this room is a short fellow who hates this class and loves his newspaper. weather is finally at least looking like it needs to look, autumnal drapery giving rise to balding arbor. A shame on these temperatures though, this 70+ degree shit in october is terrible, be it global warming, be it climate cycles, be it the black jesus with the razor like scar running beneath his left eye, i do not care. i just want cold. 21 arrives in approximately three weeks, an odd change ahead, to be honest. i think on that night, i'll buy everything i need to engage in the dude's favourite drink: the white russian. or maybe instead, i'll just sleep. projects come and go, some ringing more clearly than others, but i must admit the two at present bring a great deal of excitement, for a number of reasons.
the train will never stop, it just slowed for a moment to wade through a sea of dismembered cows. strange thing to see along the interstate, but sure enough, there one was. it is a rarity words of any significant weight hang over this hollow sheet, but here and now i felt compelled to leave them. i am not quite sure where or how things are going to bloom out of the present, and to what paths these nuances will branch, but thus far it hasn't been too bad and really doesn't look to turn too terrible, the unforeseen notwithstanding.
people love coming in at the last minute in this class, one could make a racist comment on it, but best passed, everyone sucks at being punctual.
...and good god, twenty minutes to make it about five miles. people need to give up on th is thing we call personal space. traffic is a nebulous web of interconnected nightmares. force it in closer together, take to walking, you probably need it, i do.
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[16 Sep 2007|12:39am] |
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music |
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diary of dreams - eyesolation |
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the train is not stopping.
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[09 Aug 2007|01:43am] |
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archive - sit back down |
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the further you go in separation, the longer you go without attachment, the more you realise the less there is to miss, the less there is to be concerned with, in keeping check with or thinking of returning to. the present ever snowballing into the future to blacken and disperse the past.
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[08 Jul 2007|01:24pm] |
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circa survive - carry us away |
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one week.
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[22 May 2007|06:37am] |
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virgin black - requiem, kyrie |
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it has been a good and long while since i last left words of any weight here, i imagine it is more than due time...perhaps more so given that for the first time in just as long, i have these morning hours to soak the world in anew. change the ever present and ever gnawing beast, is about to rear its head again, and in this case, is to thunderous applause and wanting. perhaps if nothing else, it is these mornings i might actually miss, rich fog laced among the hilltops, sun struggling to light the ground. i cannot necessarily say i will miss the people any more, as those i see infrequently as it is, likely will not change all that much, their moments will be had, be it few and far in between, but at least resonating much more deeply with each occurrence. meanwhile it seems on a very different that things which had long been dormant have all at once begun to spring up, as if some surreal reason to remain longer than is healthy, advised, or otherwise. ends to which means appear only as ghosts, questions laced at every fold. so strange these days, so very very strange. i guess really though, i have no reason to complain. through each of these ends, despite their apparent binding, i seem to find continual streams of light. this light, in one form or another, is what keeps this being driven. bathed in it, ever present and consuming, so much to know still yet. so very much. what will come of it? with some effort...i just might find out.
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[19 Mar 2007|03:48am] |
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zero 7 - distractions |
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you know, from time to time you see, maybe experience things that almost resemble being alive. then you close your eyes, open them anew and it's the same ever pressing black. it's not good. it isn't bad. it just is.
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[06 Feb 2007|01:49am] |
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type o negative - hail and farewell to britain |
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you know, given suggestions from others, (and that really, i'm already on the path) i think i'll just grow my hair out completely death metal style. could be fun. may take a year or two. but it could be fun.
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[26 Jan 2007|02:09am] |
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coldplay - everything's not lost |
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unfortunately for all the delusions for which they feel they must adhere, this country is not improving. the further the christ disease spreads, the more intolerant it becomes to everything else. better days are not ahead. this country is sinking beneath the weight and corruption of it's assumed righteousness. glowing heads of plastic figures that dance in the dreams of the insane. despite any belief (or perhaps hope) to the contrary that listed song might imply. everything just might be lost.
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[02 Jan 2007|06:11am] |
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stella luna - change |
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perhaps for the first time in a long time, i can let that subject dance through my mind without any negativity.
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[22 Dec 2006|07:28am] |
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diary of dreams - colourblind |
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...
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[08 Dec 2006|12:00pm] |
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the end - animals |
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goddamn it all!
three years and they still fucking rule!
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[24 Nov 2006|08:29am] |
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radiohead - i want none of this |
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i really don't think i have it in me to sleep anymore.
on a side note to the open air, all the persecution this world could manage wouldn't even begin to rectify that which has already been brought about by those crying.
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[13 Nov 2006|05:03pm] |
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vital remains - savior to none...failure to all |
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now that i've reached two decades alive, i've come to realise something. something immense.
i am the jesus.
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[05 Nov 2006|03:33am] |
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deftones - xerxes |
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the past two days within the blur of the work place have been strange and enlightening. last night i felt a strange ping whilst cleaning a table and a man and his wife started praying before eating their food. then again today a woman coming through told me to smile, that god loved me. it made me realise something profound, something that had been dwelling deep down inside of me
i'm quickly becoming the only goddamn sane person left within a one hundred mile radius.
the further i distance myself from christianity and the plague that it is, the closer it binds itself to the world around me, its sickness ever spreading.
perhaps stranger still, that as the world around me has shifted toward it, i by reaction have pushed further away, but while not exclusively christianity, religion and common 'white light' driven morality in general. the fascination and addiction to dogma i find beyond mind boggling, for what is it in a goddamn name that isn't already present in simply touching another human being and realising you're alive? what the fuck is it in a two thousand year old story book beyond parables and morality tales, what some could perhaps construe as a vague guide to better living? to embrace and celebrate a cancer that has destroyed more life and culture than anything else in the history of mankind? it's been said you can't judge the whole on the actions of the few, but an asshole that's an ok guy on one day out of the month is still an asshole, as is the case in this mass.
so spare me the tales of the light and all of its profound glories. i have no use for something concerned with death while i'm living.
now, this isn't a calling out for anyone in particular, or for any reason. but just as those same ones can go on and on about the glories of their faith, so can i about the death i consider it to be.
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[24 Oct 2006|05:48am] |
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green carnation - light of day, day of darkness |
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hmm, age twenty hits in twenty days. twenty twenty glory.
this idea is dildos
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[06 Oct 2006|03:57am] |
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seven - december |
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goddamn, nothing short of stunning.
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[02 Oct 2006|11:19pm] |
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cult of luna - dark side of the sun |
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hopefully things will progress. this is still yet strange and alien, but perhaps warming. i'll soon see, i imagine.
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[25 Sep 2006|10:02pm] |
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seven - gravity |
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this one will mean the most to nanny, but even though it may change with the outcome of this game, but ultimately if i get a bandwagon team to jump on with, it'll be new orleans.
on a side note. this state of surreal stasis continues. strange has the cycle been.
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[24 Sep 2006|11:03pm] |
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portishead - sour times |
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i am strangely hypnotised.
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